We left Missouri to find ourselves in Iowa and then Michigan. Here you’ll enjoy crafty towns, beautiful skies and lush landscapes.

The middle of America experience is similar to that of a middle child. The middle is unique and yet it’s sandwiched by two gregarious siblings and regularly overshadowed by their pomp.

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THREE STATES ARE COVERED IN THIS STORY SO GET READY TO TRAVEL

We were set free from our parking lot captivity and pushed North from Missouri to Iowa and then to Michigan, after a single night in Indiana. Along our way, we found a street shaped like a serpent. A former farm family that is now building bespoke furniture and other artisan goods. There was a haunted vineyard. We reconnected with friends and family and saw a crafty town in the middle of America and, well, you’ll just have to hang in there and we’ll unload factoids aplenty on this episode of Leons’ Great Escape.

LIFE ON THE ROAD CAN BE CONFUSING

There is a fog. It’s more of a metaphor than atmospheric, which has bogged itself most lethargically on my frontal lobes. This weighted spirit plagues you with uncertainty, stagnation, and a piss and vinegar attitude. I have named this fog. Are you curious about its name? I’ll tell you anyway. I’ve named it Cantankerous the Vile. He only possesses those which are unsure on where to reside. Our great escape was set about to explore and identify a new home. We’re now 6000 miles, 13 states, and 50 gallons of iced coffee in and we haven’t found it yet — I can tell that you’re not the slightest bit concerned and that’s splendid. Same here! No, but, seriously we appreciate your vote of confidence.

We’re inquired regularly if we’re honing in on one place over another. In a word, no. Though we aren’t set on anything that we’ve visited quite yet, we have compiled a list of attributes that we’d prefer to see in our new home town. They are as follows:

Population between 500k & 2 million
Educated and driven populous
Better than average public schools
Job opportunities
Affordable
Low crime
Environmentally conscious
Suitable public transportation
Walkable & bikeable
Breathing room amongst neighbors
Green space
Moderate winter
Reduced risk of natural disasters

(This is a working list and subject change.)

Cantankerous, that curmudgeon, was so upset when we put pen to paper because he knew that we’re just a turn or two away from a breakthrough which would expel him permanently.

THE END OF CAPTIVITY

We lived in the Cummins Sales and Service parking lot in Missouri for a week while they figured out what was wrong with our generator. Turned out to be a busted governor arm which is deep in the internals of the thing. Most of our escapades while touring Missouri can be seen in this video but there are a few things that didn’t happen in time that we’ll tell you about starting now.

Candice searches for apparitions among the dilapidated buildings on the grounds of the Belvoir Winery.

First, are you ready to be scared to your bones while you sip on vintner’s delight? The wine at Belvoir Winery is to die for and plenty of people have actually died there. It’s a popular destination for the ghost hunting community, as it’s active in the paranormal activity. Our barkeep nonchalantly told us about her personal experiences with pianos playing themselves and apparitions walking the halls. The property once housed an orphanage as well as a fraternal order called The Independent Order of Odd Fellows. Belvoir, in addition to wine, has an Inn, too, if you dare to join in the fun. We were just there for the booze and some potential boos as we walked among the remains of what was an old infirmary which is rotting away on site.

The Bent Tree Gallery — Leather, wood and fiber

On the way out of Missouri, we stayed the night in a town called Bethany. Our hosts were a part of the Harvest Host program that we’ve mentioned in previous episodes. This was a treat. The land is owned by the Whitt family and they run a company called The Bent Tree Gallery. John and Marcia make bespoke works out of wood and fiber and their daughter, Stacey, is gifted with leather skills. This is a talented tribe. Candice purchased a gorgeous bracelet while we were there and we both swore that we’d come back to take one of their “learn to build your own chair” classes, once we end up finding a place to settle down. The grounds are aching for landscape photographers to get off their keisters and take some snapshots. There is a path to hike and great conversations to be had. While there, you could always increase your waistline at a local restaurant called Toot-Toot. They’ve got a renowned buffet and some buttery biscuits and pork gravy that I’m still trying to walk-off. Give me time and I will see my feet again.

LET’S VISIT IOWA

Jason and Pepper at Snake Alley in Burlington, Iowa.

Over 3 million people live in the state of Iowa with cities like Des Moines (200k), Cedar Rapids (130k) and Davenport (100k) being some of the more densely populated. Did you know that Iowa was the 29th state added to the union back in 1846? Let me tell you why you care.

John Wayne was born here. “Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” - The Wayne… Not doing it for you?
There is a lot, and I mean A LOT of food being grown in Iowa. Iowa produces one-eleventh of the nation’s food supply and is the largest producer of corn, pork and eggs, and second in soybeans. Iowa Stats! They produce:

• 18.1% of the nation’s corn supply

• 13.3% of the nation’s soybeans

• 13.3% of the nation’s eggs

• 34.8% of the nation’s pork

Call it Big Ag, big agriculture or industrialized growing. Call it what you want but it’s impressive. There are uniform crops as far as the eye can see.

But the #1 export of Iowa is electoral influence. Unlike primary elections in most other U.S. states where registered voters go to polling places to cast ballots, Iowans instead gather at local caucus meetings to discuss and vote on the candidates. It’s like interactive and stuff, man. States that use the caucus system are Alaska, Colorado, Hawaii, Kansas, Maine, Minnesota, Nevada, North Dakota, Wyoming and Iowa and the Iowa caucus is held first. This is why it’s used by candidates as a proving ground for their message and platform. It’s said that If you can’t win in Iowa, then you should reconsider your overall appeal, chances of success and former life choices.

What's a caucus?

A meeting at which local members of a political party register their preference among candidates running for office.

There are some interesting places to visit while you’re here. I’ll start with Bentonsport which hasn’t changed a bit since it was a thriving steamboat port in the mid-1800s. Walk back in time and enjoy a bed and breakfast here or buy some handcrafted goods.

Iron and Lace Pottery boutique and studio on the main drag in Bentonsport, Iowa.

A short drive from Bentonsport will land you in Burlington and it’s also a port town. This is where we joined up with our friend Toni. This is also where I tried my first tenderloin sandwich, at The Buffalo, and I swear here and now that it won’t be my last. This is terrible for you and delicious at the same time.

After you’ve eaten, you may want to stroll down Snake Alley. It's a sinuous street in Burlington. In my opinion, there are no snakes here but you make your own call. It’s still a marvel even if it’s just sinuous. Constructed in 1894 it was intended to help connect the residential district at the top of the bluff with the commercial district down below. Now it really is just for show. Can I be honest with you? I had to look up the word sinuous which means having many curves or turns. Moving on.

Who doesn’t love a good mosquito bite? The folks of Burlington are so fond of them that they named a park after the little buggers.

The view from Mosquito Park in Burlington, Iowa.

“For a fabulous view of the Mississippi River stop here. This is a small park on a bluff in a neighborhood of beautiful homes,” says GlutenfreeCeliacat on Trip Advisor. I agree with you GlutenfreeCeliacat and couldn’t have put it better myself.

Hey Celiacat, did you know that Big Grove Brewery and Taproom in Iowa City provides gluten free menu options?

Big Grove Brewery in Iowa City, IA

They also have a playground that Pepper explored while Candice and I sampled their ales. Iowa City has a population of 75,000. Seems like a nice city in general but we didn’t have much time there so don’t take my word for it. You should go there and tell me if it’s your cup of tea, or beer. I will vouch for Big Grove. We also had a pint with our friend Nick there and washed it down with some pizza at his favorite place.

How’s your chakra? There are some spiritual folks in Fairfield, Iowa that I’m sure could inform you if you’re not illuminated. I didn’t have my chakra inspected but I did enjoy walking the streets and taking in the brick buildings. A ways down the road you’ll also find the Maharishi University where you could meditate on world peace and stuff. This is all in the middle of farm country Iowa. I was confused and delighted all at the same time. Candice might like to live here but there are no jobs so I’m sorry but your princess is in another castle.

Centrally located to all of these southeastern Iowa towns is Mount Pleasant which is where we parked our motor home for this stay. I didn’t find it pleasant to say the least but is was convenient enough for exploring the area.

Michigan is another gem for the outdoors types among us. Charlevoix, Michigan (pronounced shar-le-voy) is a fun lakeside town that is brimming with restaurants and is walkable. Our time in Michigan was spent with friends and family so we didn’t capture much which was absolutely fine. If you can deal with 5 months of winter, then you could take advantage of their trails, ATVs, hunting, lakes and general beauty as a local. In the winter they ski, snowboard and snowmobile around town.

That wraps things up for this update. We’re now focused on research and crunching the numbers on where to visit next as a potential home. Cantankerous the Vile will be vanquished and our sinuous tale will wind on. We’ll head east and eventually run into an ocean. I hope you’ll join us when we recap what happens along the way. Until next time, ta-ta.